Once upon a time in a land close to here, there lived a beautiful, young, intelligent knitter named Mrs. R. (Hey, its my fairy tale … I can lie if I want to, lie if I want to... you would lie too, if this happened to you!)
Mrs. R's mother, the Empress S., had taught all her sons and daughters to knit when they were children, but Mrs. R. had only learned to cast on, knit, purl, and bind off. K2tog and YO were also mastered, but that is as far as she got.
In August Mrs. R. took up the needles again. Our heroine quickly accumulated a stash and merrily started many, many projects.
With the help of wizards like Lucy Neatby and Sheryl, the owner of Tangled Skeins, along with spells engraved in books like Weekend Knitting, Mrs. R. quickly learned 4 new techniques.
First, the making of icords was revealed. Mrs. R. marveled at how knitting at the opposite end from the yarn supply could result in a tube shape. The fairies themselves must have invented this clever technique.
This is Sophie the Second, modeling her icord handles.
Next, Mrs. R. was introduced to the fabulous art of the Kitchener Stitch. Joining separate ends of knitting without leaving a noticeable join line using just two knitting needles of live stitches held parallel and a darning needle is, quite simply, MAGIC!
The next technique was somewhat intimidating to Mrs. R. Short rows. The concept baffled our heroine, but she needed to make fingerless mitts for when she walks the puppies (er, I mean, when she flys with the Watch Dragons) and the spell in the book called Weekend Knitting used short rows to shape the mitts over the hand. So, the fearless Mrs. R. cast on and, muttering the special 4 letter words (er, I mean, the incantations) she short rowed away. In the end, our heroine had this to say: "SHORT ROWS ROCK!!"
Finally, the spell for fingerless mitts called for a 3 needle bind off. Here, our heroine's nerve failed her. Gremlins whispered in her ear. For this task she had already learned short rows, and how to cast on over a gap in the fabric (for the thumb). Wasn't that enough? Why was she being pushed so hard? What evil lurked here? Angels wafted into earshot and counter-attacked. "To whom can you turn for support and courage?" they asked her. Ah, Earl Gray to the rescue, with a dash of Captain Morgan on the side. Once fortified, Mrs. R. defeated the confidence-destroying gremlins and bound off successfully.
And everyone lived happily ever after.
- The End -